King of the Dragon Balls
by Skippysgotmail
Summary: After killing Goku, Hank and Bobby Hill embark on a treacherous journey to find all of the dragon balls to wish for infinite spark plugs. Will they be successful or will they face ultimate death? Find out when you read, King of the Dragon Balls! (Yes, this is a King of the Hill and Dragon Ball Z crossover...)
1. Chapter 1: A Day in the Life

Chapter 1

It was a typical Texas day at the Hill's residence. Peggy was practicing her Spanish while burning some pancakes, Bobby spent the hour trying to break dance, and Hank watched his son in horror.

"What did I do to deserve this?" asked Hank quietly to himself.

"What was that, dad?" interrupted Bobby.

"Oh, nothing." Hank said with reassurance.

Bobby gave a half smile to Hank then said his famous catchphrase, "Okay, dad." Bobby quickly zoned out then continued to break dance.

Meanwhile, Peggy was placing the final touches to her butchered breakfast for her hillbilly kinfolk. To help further improve her Spanish speaking skills, she announced that breakfast was ready in the foreign language. Unfortunately, Peggy was mediocre at Spanish so she said, "Por favor como mi sopa y libro." translating to, "Please eat my soup and books."

Since neither Hank nor Bobby spoke Spanish, let alone could barely speak English, they had no idea what she said. But the two could smell the potent scent of smoke which suggested that breakfast was ready. Bobby dashed to the dining room as swift as a jack rabbit and Hank followed slowly behind in a waltzing motion.

While the three were seated in the dining room, the doorbell rang throughout the entire house, filling the ears of the Hill's.

"Bwaah!" shouted Hank, "What's that spooky noise?"

"I think someone's at the door, dad." replied Bobby.

Hank walked towards the front door while simultaneously covering his ears. He opened the door handsomely then proceeded to scream.


	2. Chapter 2: Let's Jam!

Chapter 2

"Bwaah!" shouted Hank, "it's a hoodlum!"

The stranger stood idle in a position that revealed his swagger. His black spikey hair poked nicely on top of his head. The bold color of orange on his jumpsuit made him facile to identify. The stranger gave a glance at Hank before responding, "What?"

"What do you want, hoodlum?" Hank queried.

"Oh this might be the wrong house. I'm looking for a dragon ball so that I can bring back Yamcha."

"Whhhhat?"

"Oh, you might be confused. My name is Goku. I'm looking for a dragon ball and possibly my friend's dead body."

"Dragon what?" Hank replied with confusion.

"If you gather all seven dragon balls together, you get to grant one wish."

"One wish you say?" Hank began to use his imagination to think of all the things he would wish for, but only one thing reoccurred in his mind. He wantonly blurted his wish out of his mouth for Goku to hear. "I can have all the spark plugs I want!"

Goku did not take a liking to Hank's idea. "Hey, I'm the one who's looking for the dragon balls, so don't get any ideas!"

"Oh, I already did," interrupted Hank, "and I'm getting' them spark plugs. I tell ya what!"

"Are we going to have an issue?" Goku said as he readied himself.

Hank leered at Goku, "I believe we are."

The two readied themselves in their fighting positions and began to intimidate one another.

With great attitude, Goku sneered at Hank, "Let's fight!"


	3. Chapter 3: The Beginning of Beauty

Chapter 3

Hank straightened his posture to show how serious he was about getting his spark plugs, and Goku was looking cool without even trying. A vast silence surrounded the neighborhood before it was quickly broken by the first attack. Goku charged at Hank while screaming vehemently at the top of his lungs.

Hank yelled in defense, "Face my propane!"

Hank pulled out a propane tank from thin air then shouted, "Bwaaaaah!" as he unscrewed the propane valve. The air around them became tainted by the reasonably priced propane causing Goku to halt in his position and cough.

"Oh no! My-my only weakness that I just developed from the author!" Goku gave a long pause then squealed, "Propane!" Goku collapsed to the freshly mowed grass. He could not believe a frail little hillbilly such as Hank could defeat him in combat. This was a first for the over powered sayain.

Hank approached Goku's body with a deadly glare. Goku perspirated all over his clothing while locking eyes with Hank who was hanging over him like a vulture.

Goku struggled to speak, "Wh-who are you?"

Hank stood quietly for a moment then spoke, "I'm your worst nightmare, I tell ya what."

Goku let out his final words before he slipped away. "Y-you're epic."

Hank gave one last reply to the fallen hero, "I know."

When Hank realized that Goku was dead, he searched through his pockets. In Goku's bag, Hank discovered three of the dragon balls glowing as bright as a star. Hank began licking his lips with excitement. "Three steps closer to gettin' my spark plugs!"

After all of the immersive action, Hank called Bobby to come outside.

When Bobby came outside, Hank gave Bobby a stone cold look and said, "Bobby, You and I are gonna look for them dragon hoozy whatsits so that I can make my wish."

Bobby looked at Hank stupidly then said, "Okay dad."

The brave hillbillies bid their goodbyes to Peggy then set off on their adventure.


	4. Chapter 4: Blinded by the Bwaah!

Chapter 4

Hank and Bobby rode in Hank's truck to find the remaining dragon balls. All they needed was four more dragon balls in order to make Hank's boring wish.

Hank's face showed an expression of greed and enthusiasm while Bobby's was showing a sign of uninterest.

"Boy, I tell you what, I can't wait to get my spark plugs." stated Hank as he was driving. Bobby shook his head slowly in shear boredom of Hank's sentence.

Suddenly, in the distance, an abundance of light caught Bobby's eye. "Dad, pull over! I see something shiny!" blurted Bobby.

Hank gave a quick chuckle, "Bobby, you fool, that's a dragon ball! Let's go get it!" Hank pulled over towards the direction of the luminescent light. As the two stepped out of the truck, they realized they did not just find one dragon ball, they found two of them! Hank began to sing like a shroud when saw the two dragon balls.

"It's glorious." cried Hank.

Bobby gave an unenthusiastic look at Hank. "Can we go home, dad? I need to soak my feet."

Hank gave Bobby a stern look and said, "No."

Once Hank finished tossing the dragon balls into the bed of his truck, the two hillbillies went on their way to find the remaining two dragon balls.

As Hank was buckling up, he smirked aggressively and said to himself, "Five down, two to go."

Before Bobby could ask what Hank was whispering about, Hank had floored the gas pedal.


	5. Chapter 5: The Search Continues

Chapter 5

The truck gradually accelerated to the point that Bobby could hardly breathe. With whatever breath Bobby had left, he asked, "Dad, can you please slow down!" Hank did not listen nor care what Bobby was saying. All he could think about were those beautiful spark plugs.

The truck was only going faster thanks to Hank and his spastic leg. With a sharp rush of blood and an overflow of dopamine, Hank felt alive for the first time in his life. Bobby, on the other hand, had never felt more terrified of his own father. Pictures of flashing colors and blurred lines were the only things visible for the crazed lunatic and the small pig boy. The speed increased further down the road until the truck's alignment fell out of place.

The truck veered a hard right and crashed into a nearby tree. Bobby faced minor scratches and bruises, but Hank suffered with his liver pierced by a jagged piece of glass.

"Bwaaah!" screeched Hank.

Bobby took immediate action by rushing towards Hank to provide physical aid. When Bobby tried to help his grumpy father, Hank resisted.

"Don't touch me; boy" shouted Hank, "you ain't right!" Bobby was given the cold shoulder by his own kin which discouraged the plump little boy.

Even with a holed liver, Hank's determination managed to shine through. He ordered Bobby to begin searching within the region for any possible dragon ball sightings. Bobby yielded to Hank's command by beginning the search.

Hank waited five hours before Bobby returned from his exploration. In Bobby's hands were two leaves, and half of a paper clip. Hank realized he had raised a failure.

"Bobby, you loser, " Hank began, "you have failed me yet again."

Bobby lowered his head in shame while he headed towards the mangled truck, waiting for Hank.

When Hank finished bandaging his punctured liver, he started repairing the truck. While Hank was working, he spotted something luminating underneath the distorted vehicle. As Hank crawled underneath to investigate, he discovered what knocked the truck out of alignment. It was a dragon ball! The ball was stuck snuggly between the front axis and front right wheel.

Hank let out a girly scream of excitement. When he yanked the dragon ball out of the new formed crevice, the alignment improved...slightly...

Hank pried open the crushed truck door, sat in the front seat, and turned the key into the ignition, all while completely ignoring Bobby and his disturbing antics. Before Bobby could gather his both meager and dull thoughts, Hank had already slammed his foot on the gas pedal. Hank's pupils had disappeared into his eyes resulting in Hank's face to become a silent gaze. His excitement had turned into insanity.


	6. Chapter 6: Owner of a Lonely Boy

Chapter 6

Hank had driven for nine hours nonstop, looking vigorously for the last dragon ball. Bobby would continually pester him by asking if he could use the bathroom, but Hank decline every time. In such a time of desperation, Bobby formed an idea in his head. Bobby used Hank's love of propane to his advantage.

"Hey dad," Bobby started, "I think I left the propane tank's valve open at home again."

"Whhhhat?" asked Hank with a sharp, raspy voice, mimicking the sound of a tongueless raccoon. He made an immediate sharp U-turn and floored the gas pedal. Hank now had a new mission to tighten the propane valve so they could save money. Bobby grew a large grin on his face with the satisfaction of his plan being a success.

After two days and four hours of driving, the two hillbillies finally made it home. Bobby hopped out of the truck and rushed to the bathroom as Hank was examining his precious gas valve. As Bobby was relieving himself, Hank walked around for a bit, waiting for him.

Suddenly, a loud roar of potent wind blew across Hank's middle-aged face. Hank looked to see where the conspicuous wind came from. As Hank was looking in one direction, something cold was tapping the back of his left shoulder. Hank turned his head one hundred and eighty degrees to see who it was.

The figure had armor that puffed his chest with a complimenting color of shaded violet. His flesh, lightly tinted with purple haze. The flesh was tightly coated on his arms, arms which elongated to flex and intimidate those who foolishly chosen to get in his way. On the top of his head, piked out two long ebony horns that configured a sign of evil. Yes, it was lord Frieza himself!


	7. Chapter 7: Frieza and a Hillbilly

Chapter 7

Hank leered closely at the ridiculous character. He asked instructively, "Who are you?"

"Who am I?" questioned Frieza. "Who are you?"

"I'm Hank Hill," Hank began, "I sell propane and propane accessories. Now tell me, who are you?"

Frieza chuckled to himself, "If you must know, I am lord Frieza, destroyer of Namek and hunter of dragon balls."

Hank let out a hillbilly gasp. "You're here to take my dragon balls, ain't ya?"

"That's right!" Frieza exclaimed, "All seven of them."

Hank paused for a moment. "Wait, seven? I only have six."

"Liar!" interrupted Frieza, "I know for a fact that you have seven, thanks to my dragon radar." Frieza kindly showed Hank his dragon radar, proving that the seventh dragon ball was in his presence. "Here," explained Frieza, "you have six of them in the bed of your radical truck and one in the hedges over there." pointing directly at the final missing dragon ball.

Hank let out a violent "Whhhhat?" then turned his face towards his trimmed bushes quickly. Frieza's dragon radar was uncanny. There lay the final dragon ball. Its beauty could not be compared to the other dragon balls. The bright sphere of light shinned as bright as daylight. Hank walked towards it slowly. He stretched forth his sweaty hand respectfully to grab hold of the ball, but was rudely interrupted by a spontaneous slap of his wrist.

Before Hank's attractive hand could grasp the dragon ball, Frieza slapped his hand away. Hank cracked his neck to look at Frieza and his arrogant moxie.

Frieza closed his eyes and began a silent sentence. "If you want this dragon ball, you will have to fight me for it."


	8. Chapter 8: Frieza's Treacherous Tactic

Chapter 8

Hank deeply inhaled then exhaled as he closed his eyes. He nodded fervently, accepting Frieza's duel for the last dragon ball. Frieza gave Hank a devilish grin that startled the poor hillbilly for a moment before he could regain his stamina.

"I can see you're a man of true strength. So, I guess I shouldn't go easy on you," quoth Frieza , "I will no longer tarry any of my precious time. I'll finish you with my final form!"

Hank had no reply to the intimidating creature. A simple gaze into the atmosphere was the only thing Hank was capable of doing at that point.

"You think this is a joke?" questioned Frieza. "I'll show you real power!" Before any time was given to process what was happening, Frieza began his transformation. Frieza's bones were both deforming and crunching to form this magnificent structure of anatomy. Screams of agony impaled Frieza's vocal chords during the disturbing process. Hank watched in horror at Frieza's suffering. An occasional twitch caught Hank's left eye from the mortifying sight he witnessed.

When the transformation completed, Frieza let out a wild shriek.

"What's the matter, earthling?" Frieza began, "are you scared?"

Out of panic, Hank threw up in the bed of his pickup truck . He was beyond intimidated by the ferocious weirdo. Hank had to figure out a way to defeat Frieza.


	9. Chapter 9: Hank Didn't Start the Fire

Chapter 9

Frieza stomped violently towards Hank in an energetic rage to eradicate the hillbilly quickly. Hank, however, backed away from the smelly monster while thinking of a way to defeat him. Each step toward Hank urged Frieza to breath heavily with excitement. Saliva drained from the beast's mouth like a flowing stream. Both Hanks' mental and physical states were in severe condition. The adrenaline in his hillbilly brain forced him to think on the spot. He acted on his first instinct. He hopped into his truck to run Frieza over. This instinct Hank made surprised Frieza. He never imagined that Hank was foolish enough to use his car to run him over. Hank vigorously cranked the truck engine as fast as he could while Frieza watched in awe. The truck revved and roared loudly as a crashing wave. Frieza was intimidated as he stood down for a bit. Hank noted Frieza's fear and took advantage of it. Hank drove fiercely towards the monster's body.

Frieza collapsed to the ground, dazed after being hit with a 3,000 pound hunk of metal. Hank stepped out of the truck, staring at the now vulnerable body. He approached the distorted body as he lit a match only to throw it in the engine of the truck.

Frieza mumbled to Hank, "You-you're the real monster!" to which Hank replied, "I'm just doing what I can to get my spark plugs."

As soon as the two fighters locked eyes with each other, the truck exploded violently on Hank's treasured lawn, killing Frieza and severely injuring Hank.


	10. Chapter 10: Like Father, Like Son

Chapter 10

The fire from the remains of the truck dispersed rapidly onto the front lawn of the Hill's residence. Frieza's corpse was cooked medium rare. Oh! What a sight to see! The mighty lord Frieza with his flesh burnt to a crisp! Hank on the other hand barely had enough time to crawl to the front doorstep before the flames could engulf him. He reached towards his left side for the water sprinkler valve to release fresh water onto the scorched grass. The water slowly silenced the flames in repetitive intervals until it completely diminished.

After all the madness concluded, Hank called for Bobby to come outside. Bobby fumbled out the front door pathetically towards his mangled father.

"Dad," cried Bobby, "why are you all torn up?"

"Never mind that, boy!" interrupted Hank, "just get them dragon do hickeys together so I can make my wish before I die!"

Bobby shed a small tear of sadness. "Okay dad." He picked up every dragon ball from the bed of the truck and the one that sat idle in the bushes. After Bobby collected them all, Hank instructed thoroughly to him to align them in order. The dragon balls were placed symmetrically in the order designated to them. The balls began to glow brighter every moment of the passing time. Clouds of ash, filled with lightning swarmed around the cul-de-sac, engulfing the mid-day sun. A loud roar of thunder arose before a long slender dragon with scales as sharp as iron. His teeth curved proportionally across his mouth to indicate a face of intimidation. His eyes appeared red as blood with hair follicles swayed along his well-structured face.

The dragon's scales moved subtly as he spoke. "Who has awoken me from my slumber?"

"I did!" spouted Bobby.

"What is your wish, you pathetic mess?"

Hank used whatever ounce of strength he had left to call to Bobby. "Remember Bobby! Remember my wish!" Bobby turned around with confidence in his smirk. "Don't worry, dad. I've got this!"

Bobby looked straightforward at the spooky dragon. He had to make his father proud with this one wi-

"I wish for an ice cream!" blurted Bobby.

"Your wish is granted." The mighty dragon answered. Hank intruded with a shriek, "No!"

A large waffle cone, filled with strawberry ice cream materialized suddenly in Bobby's little hands. Bobby could not contain his excitement, "Alright!" Bobby skipped and jumped with happiness. However, just before Bobby could obtain a taste of the flavor of the artificially made goodness, He tripped over a single blade of grass, resulting in the ice cream to fall on the ground. Bobby fell too.

The powerful dragon watched this event unfold right in front of him. As he saw how lame the chubby little boy was, he gradually disappeared in the sky with discomfort.

Hank's chance to own infinite spark plugs became nothing more than a mere creative desire. All effort was lost with that lone wish. A wish made by Hank's own son. He knew that was his only opportunity to obtain his dream. Along with this came the acceptance of death. This was his last chance to see his only son. And with his dying breath, He said his final words. "Th-that boy a-ain't right…duhhh."

The End


End file.
